Freedom from Fear & Piercing the Romantic Veil of Illusion

--Freedom from Fear--
He alone is wise who fears not another, nor makes others afraid. Guru Tegh Bahadur
Fear is a prison that quickly circulates through the entire system, paralysing the will, producing a queer sensation in some part or the other of the human body. Yes, fear is the cause of many diseases. Fearlessness ensures health. Do not fear, for God is near! J P Vaswani
The person who takes the vow that he will cause no fear to anyone is the person to whom nothing can cause fear anymore. The person who causes no disquiet to the world is the person who is not perturbed by the world. Manu Smriti
Fear is the main source of superstition and one of the main sources of cruelty. To overcome fear is the beginning of wisdom. Bertrand Russell
The wise man in the storm prays to God, not for safety from danger, but for deliverance from fear. R W Emerson
Fear is never a good counsellor and victory over fear is the first spiritual duty of man. Nicolas Berdyaev
--Piercing the Romantic Veil of Illusion--
What does it mean for a man and a woman to come together in a romantic and sexual relationship in the context of evolutionary enlightenment?
Enlightenment means consciousness beyond ego, and evolution means development in time. So the question is: What would it mean to embrace the romantic and sexual dimension of life in an egoless context, in a relationship that is creative and developmental?
Traditionally, when people have wanted to evolve, they have either left this particular part of life behind or they have made it the central focus of practice and development.
Some traditions have made it an integral part of their culture, but that usually involves traditional roles for men and women that most of us have outgrown.
We are trying to find a way to embrace this dimension of life that makes sense in our time and culture, and which neither avoids it nor makes it the central focus of our attention.
When men and women would enter a relationship and raise children, there was a larger cultural and historical context for the couple being together, far beyond personal happiness.
Generally, today we get together with other people because we're seeking happiness. Most of us don't need to be in a sexual relationship in order to survive.
Somehow we've gotten the idea that an ideal sexual partner is going to give us deep spiritual happiness, abiding contentment, and joy that would make life worth living.
For most of us, this is a deep illusion, that sex and romance will make me happy. I have met very few people, East or West, who have penetrated deeply into this particular illusion.
So we have to begin to think about the age-old question: Where are we really going to find happiness? We have to discover for ourselves that the promise behind the whole myth of sexual pleasure and romantic love is grossly exaggerated by our culture.
If we believe the illusion, we make a much bigger deal out of things than we need to and it inevitably creates disillusionment, craving, and suffering.
For a man and woman to be together in an authentic context of spiritual evolution, first, some of these fundamental ideas have to be looked into.
None of us will be able to succeed unless we've actually shattered some of these illusions in the deepest part of ourselves.
It's easy to have a philosophical conversation about the power of the sexual impulse and how it clouds perception, but it's something else altogether to see deeply into the nature of the illusion and to at least momentarily see through it.
If a man and a woman can each go this far, and then come together with the same ultimate purpose, there is a foundation for something different to happen.
Each individual has to be more interested in the evolution of consciousness than they're interested in being together.
If they don't want the same thing, it will never work. It's very important to prove that we can do this. If men and women can't live together, not just harmoniously but victoriously, then what does our spiritual attainment mean?
In a culture where there is such cynicism about human potential and where we imbue the romantic and sexual bond with so much significance, to be able to demonstrate an extraordinary victory in this particular area of life speaks volumes.